


Fowl Play

by Phandancee74



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Julian is a jerk, M/M, Non Criminal Leonard Snart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 01:18:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11325669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandancee74/pseuds/Phandancee74
Summary: Barry really wants Chickens. Len is a chicken farmer. There's some miscommunication and Julian isn't helping.





	Fowl Play

Barry wants chickens. He tells everyone it’s because once he gets them he’ll be a total chick magnet. Except he’s bisexual. But that doesn’t work with the pun and he’s barely told anyone that other than Iris so he can still tell the joke. Really he wants them because he did a project on chickens in elementary school and when he found out their closest living relative was a T-Rex he made his entire project about it. Now he’s an adult and he can get chickens if he wants to. As long as Joe’s cool with it.

Sometimes at work during his lunch break Barry searches Chickens on Craigslist. Julian has caught him at it a few times, and he usually mocks Barry for it, but every now and then provides useful information about the kind of chicken Barry should get, or how to best care for a small number of chickens in a city. Apparently the Albert family estate used to have avians of all kinds, so Julian considers himself once again to be a superior expert to Barry even though he didn’t know that chickens understand object permanence, which Barry totally did.

____

So it was pretty normal when Julian walked in one day and found Barry looking at chickens, _again _. “Allen. Just buy yourself some birds before I have to complain to the Captain about your work habits.”__

____

__

“Come on Julian. Look at them! These chickens are beautiful, and the guy only charges new customers three dollars a pound.”

Julian looked over at Barry’s computer with a frown. 

“That seems an unusual system. Are you sure?”Barry nodded happily and gestured for Julian to come over. “Yeah. It says it right in the post.” 

 

_Snart Farms now taking orders for Pasture Raised GMO Free Chicken!!_  
Our chickens are raised in pastures that give birds a fresh supply of insects, sunshine, grass and clover.  
Chicken food is GMO free and all natural. Processing done on site. Pick up fresh.  
Special price for first time customers! $3.00/lb. __

____

____

 

Julian looked over at Barry to see if he was joking. The innocent smile Barry had from ear to ear suggested he had no idea the post wasn’t selling chickens and Julian didn’t feel any inclination to enlighten his lab partner.

“You should go for it. Those chickens are quite handsome.” Julian encouraged quickly. 

Barry thought for a moment. “You’re right. I keep talking about it but the best thing to do is just get them and then tell Joe about it. He wouldn’t make me take them back.”

“Of course not.” Julian agreed easily. “How could he say no to such . . . darling creatures?”

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Barry had called the contact number that afternoon and made plans to come pick up two pounds of chickens the next day. He thought two pounds sounded like a reasonable amount. Julian had confirmed it would be a good starter for him and Barry was pumped to see his new chickens.

Which is exactly what he told Len (Leonard Snart, head of Snart Farms) as soon as he drove up to the barn.

“Chick-en.” Len clearly enunciates to make sure Barry is hearing him.

“Chickens!” Barry responds enthusiastically.

“Chick-en.” He tries again.

“Chickens!”

Len groans. He’s going to have to find a way to weigh and sell this adorable man some of his live chickens. There’s no way he can break the guy’s heart by showing him the little butcher shop that Lisa and Mick have set up. He’d never get his number afterwards and he desperately wants this man’s number.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

A week later Barry and Len are making out at Barry’s desk after Len had “come into the city on business and decided to check up on his chicken”.

“Chickens!” Barry counters happily just as Julian sits down at his desk.

Len gives him a quick peck. “Chick-en.” He says smiling, knowing that he might never tell Barry what almost happened to his new favorite pets.

“Chickens!” Barry looks over at Julian. “Hey Julian, can you believe Len thinks the plural of chicken is chicken? And he’s a _chicken farmer _.”__

____

____

Julian looks at Len, still in his work clothes and possibly still smelling a bit like manure, and his eyes widen. Len notices immediately and puts two and two together. He’s not sure whether to yell at the guy who almost ruined Barry’s innocent mind or thank him for accidentally setting them up. He’ll give the guy a chance, and if he doesn’t turn out to be a total pain, maybe he’ll give him a chicken.

**Author's Note:**

> My coworker really wants chickens and he found a craigslist post like the one in this fic and thought it was for live chickens. The story wrote itself. Though my coworker did not end up contacting the seller because I am not a jerk, and corrected the misunderstanding.


End file.
